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Like A Dream Come True

By Anon.

My name is [...], I'm twenty nine years old and have been an above knee amputee for nearly twelve years. I have been married to a wonderful guy since June of last year and I'm an [...] in [...].

For the past five years or so I have been interested to learn as much about devotees as possible. I first learned about them when I was in rehab. A matronly PT told me, "honey, there are some guys out there that are really going to like you." I thought, "I'm sure, bald, one leg and thin as a rail. I'll be lucky to keep my boyfriend that knew me before I was ill." As it turned out, I lost him to a cheerleader with two legs about three months post surgery. After I had rehabilitated and was in remission I thought several times about what that PT said, but never really believed that it could be possible. Little did I know she was in fact correct and that a seventeen year old trying to learn how to use a prosthesis had a few other things to learn before she was completely rehabilitated.

My senior year of high school I had some dates and even went to the Prom, but there was never more than a few dates with the same guy. One day I was at a mall with a friend when I kept seeing the same guy over and over. My girlfriend is just gorgeous and always draws the looks of guys and I thought he must be watching her. I decided that wasn't the case when we separated for a while and he followed me into a store. When I left the store I went out to the mall and sat down to wait for my friend; he walked out of the store we were in and sat down on a bench across from me. The question on my mind was " is this one of those guys the PT told me about"? Does he like me because it is obvious that I am an amputee or is there something else he sees that he likes? I wasn't afraid of him and to tell the truth I was sort of wishing he would've come over and talked to me. He was a "hunk" as a high school girl at that time would say. He stayed there until my friend came and then he followed us through a department store and finally out to my car. He didn't come out to the parking lot but stopped and looked at some men's clothing near the door. Maybe it was because I was with my friend or possibly I'm just very trusting of people, but I never felt threatened by my first known encounter with a person who I thought might be interested in me because I was an amputee. In light of what has happened more recently in Minnesota and other places, I probably wouldn't take it as lightly today.

In college I dated two guys who I determined were devotees. They didn't tell me as much, and they might not have even known themselves. I drew my conclusions from the fact that it was difficult to ever get the subject of our conversations directed away from amputee issues, prosthetics, crutches and the like. I was in college then and wanted guys to like me for my personality, intelligence, my looks, my "killer" smile or my big brown eyes. They were nice enough guys and one looked like he had just stepped of the plane from Hollywood, but I ended up telling both of them that I didn't want to see them any more. I think more than anything someone needed to tell these guys to concentrate on the person they were dating and make the amputee issues secondary. Those things can come out later when the amputee brings up the subject and feels more comfortable about discussing them.

I met my husband at a party that some teachers were having one evening. My best friend is a teacher in the school district where he works and she invited me to go with her and give her moral support at attracting the attention of another of the single male teachers. When we walked in the door my husband was visiting with the target for the evening and they both came over and talked with us. It wasn't too long until my friend and the guy she came to see were out dancing. I was left talking with this beautiful specimen of a male that I thought certainly must me "attached". Later I found out that he had broken off his relationship with his girlfriend of about two years about a month before. There was a keg at the party and he asked me if I would like a beer, I accepted even though beer is not my favorite. He motioned for me to walk ahead of him over to the keg and my first thoughts were, "now he's going to see my stupid gait and he'll disappear just like some of the others". After he got my beer we moved away from the crowd gathered around the keg and made small talk until he said, "what did you do to your wheel"? I had never heard it put that way before and it made me laugh. I gave him the abridged version his response was, with genuine concern as he asked if everything was ok now. I told him yes and he really looked relieved to hear that I was in remission for over five years. I danced some slow dances with him and stayed at the party until it broke up in the early hours of the morning. I was a little surprised that my friend didn't go home with the guy she came to find, but she finally came and told me she was ready to leave. On the way home she told me every single woman in town was after the guy I had been with. She asked me if he had said anything about going out or coming to another teacher gathering. I told her no and wondered if my being a one legged person was the reason he hadn't said anything. That night in bed I prayed that he would call and want me to go out with him. I was in agony waiting for a call until the following Wednesday, the phone rang about nine in the evening, it was him. He asked if I would like to go to dinner and a movie the following Saturday evening. I said yes and we talked for at least an hour before closing for the night. Thursday night he called and invited me to come to the home football game and to a gathering of coaches and other school people after the game at the home of one of the other coaches.

The rest of our relationship has been like a dream come true for me. He treats me like a princess. I do not think he is a devotee, however I would not care if he was. If I had not been actively been visiting with devotees on the internet at the Ampersand site and with Yahoo Messenger, I might not have had the opportunity to find out for myself that devotees are not all that different from other guys except in their opinions as to what is beautiful. I decided before I met my husband that I would not concern myself if a guy were a devotee as long as I was sure that he loved me, "the inner person" and wasn't just attracted to something that I have that few other females do. I have talked with doctors, lawyers, teachers, architects, salesmen, truck drivers, and men from many other professions that are all admitted devotees. They all treated me well and gave me no indication that they were the perverts that some people would lead us to believe. I have a girlfriend from Iowa who spent time online finding out all she could about devotees and came to the same conclusion as me. She married a wonderful guy too and has told me she doesn't care if he is a devotee or not.

I have found that the male amputees are usually the most negative about devotees. I'm not sure if its jealousy or if they feel that amputee females should be drawn the them because of the similarity in their condition, or if its a place to vent their anger about being an amputee.

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